Cigar Chompin’ Reviews: The Stanley Parable

A slightly scatter shot review of the new game from Galactic Cafe, The Stanley Parable


Like GTA? Then You’re A Lousy Person Says Ed Schultz.

Video games are in a unique position in this world, but are not unique in being in the position they are in, if that makes any sense. Books, music, TV, and movies have all been blamed for tragedies by a sensational press clamoring to earn a cheap buck off of the actions of the mentally ill, and now video games present a new form of media to be used by a press that have made their bread and butter from fear mongering since William Randolph Hearst came on the scene. Recently there was a tragic shooting in a Naval yard that cost at least twelve people their lives. It was a failure on the sides of many and with hindsight we can say it could’ve been avoided if we just did this or that. However, it was, to put it perhaps too simply, a tragedy, and as is their Modus Operandi the media must use it to push an agenda.

No one takes the high road, no one allows for a time of mourning anymore. Instead they show themselves to be cowardly, disgusting, and reprehensible by using the tragedy as the mad man used his gun. However, they are not among the mentally ill. They have all of their faculties and are of sound mind. They have no excuse for their depravity. They are avaricious, cruel, and unfeeling. They care not for those who were harmed and those who were failed by our broken mental health care system, they care only for their agenda. Well damn them and damn their agendas. Can we not be silent for a day when a tragedy strikes us? Can we not look at a scene of chaos and think of those harmed? At this time in history the answer is no. Perhaps one day we’ll look back on this time of fear mongering and hang our heads in shame, but until then the least we can do is call out for a moment of silence for those who were failed.

To answer Mr. Schultz’s question: It is not a matter of the First Amendment, the Second Amendment, or any amendment for that matter. It is a matter of insuring that a system is in place that keeps both the mentally ill and the public safe.


Through the Smoke: A poetic review of Receiver

Sit down and delight, with some poetry fair, let me make your day bright, using words that glide through the air.

It’s a five dollar game, a price you can afford, not one of great fame, but in playing you’ll never be bored.

So hear me well, and listen true, as I free you from boredom’s cell, and show you something there’s no equal to!

Get it here:

Cigar Chompin’ Reviews: Rise of the Triad

Rise of the triad review.

Gameplay: with dodgy AI and the inability to see where the blows are coming from at times, the gameplay has a tendency to turn into a frustrating affair. However with its mindset stuck firmly in the 90’s it can be a hell of a good time, that is until you get to the platforming, seriously whoever thinks platforming in first person when you can’t see your feet is a good idea, needs a man with a bamboo rod to stand behind him at all times to smack him whenever he wants to put platforming in a first person game .

Story:You’re cute.

Replay/Fun: with the inability to save at will, the game can quickly turn from fun romp to frustration filled replaying of the same fifteen minutes . However there is a certain thrill to watching a pair of eyes slide down your screen after an enemy explodes close to you. Having an unambiguous evil to fight is fun, and the boss battles are challenging and can be a genuine challenge, but again with the lack of quicksave I found myself cursing as much as I was cheering.

Sound: between the blaring rock soundtrack and cries of your enemies the sound is the best thing about the game, although the explosions lack any kind of oomph.

Graphics: They get the job done, but it’s nothing to write home about. They don’t look bad, but if you’re a graphic junky you might be disappointed, I wasn’t. However the V-synch constantly turning off kept me good and pissed.

Overall score: 6.6